"This is not a 5 star hotel!
Note by the bed to say this gift is especially for you - there was no gift so we had to ask at reception what was meant to be there, should have been given a lavender bag
Had to ask for the bottle of wine which was part of booking through Expedia
Magnifying mirror in bathroom useless - it's stuck on the wall so you have to lean across the sink to actually see in it
Stationery folder in room had one moth-eaten postcard and pen marks all over it.
Four complimentary coffee capsules allowed for the entire stay, whether that's 1 night or 1 month
Room never hoovered
Turn down service happened sometimes, and wasn't consistent when it did happen
Cleaning service at a time to suit the staff - sometimes there'd be a note on the door that they tried to clean before 9am, other times they still hadn't cleaned by 2pm, or even 4pm on occasion
Replacement of bottle of water in the room sporadic
Water only available in reception area for very limited time each day
Light curtain covering window between bedroom and bathroom so you couldn't have the light on in the bathroom at night or you'd disturb other people in the bedroom
Smoking allowed everywhere outside, not even one non-smoking outdoor area by pool
Pool towels only available at the beach so you have to walk past the pools, cross the promenade to go and collect them, to then turn round and take them back to the pool
No eggs to order at breakfast
Minimal fresh fruit, eg no melon"
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